As parents, we know the anxiety and overwhelm that can come with school support meetings—whether it’s an IEP, a 504 plan, or a general meeting to address classroom concerns. You want to advocate for your child, ensure their needs are met, and create a supportive environment where they can thrive. But where do you start? How do you prepare for these meetings in a way that builds understanding and results in meaningful accommodations for your child?
The key to success is preparation, clarity, and ensuring you walk into that room feeling empowered. Here are some strategies that I regularly recommend to the families I work with. Let’s turn those nerves into confidence so you can advocate for the support your child deserves.
Bring an Advocate or Support Person
If possible, consider bringing someone with you—a friend, a relative, or even a professional advocate who is knowledgeable about ADHD and special education. Having an additional person present can be incredibly helpful, both for emotional support and to help you keep track of the details. They can take notes, remind you of key points, and help ensure nothing important is missed. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
As an ADHD coach, I regularly attend IEP and support meetings with my clients, either in person or by phone/zoom, and I know that my psychologist, SLP, OT, and counsellor colleagues do the same. Don’t be afraid to ask members of your child’s support team if they would be open to joining as a support. If attendance is not possible, creating a list of questions and recommendations with your child’s support team members can help you focus on your advocacy plan.
Reflection: Who in my circle of support can I invite to the meeting to offer perspective and advocacy? How can I communicate my child’s needs with more clarity and confidence?
Prepare Ahead of Time: Write Down Your Goals and Questions
One of the best ways to feel grounded during a meeting is to walk in with a clear list of goals, questions, and concerns. This helps ensure you cover all important points and don’t leave feeling like you’ve missed something critical. Think about your child’s current struggles and their strengths. What is working for them, and where do they need more support
When I’m working with parents, we often map out these questions in advance:
- What accommodations have helped my child in the past?
- What new supports could help them thrive moving forward?
- How is my child’s emotional well-being being addressed alongside their academic progress?
Reflection: What specific goals do I want to achieve in this meeting? Are there certain accommodations or changes I’m hoping to discuss?
Utilize an “All About Me” Document as a Starting Point
A powerful tool you can bring to the meeting is a personalized “All About Me” document. This document, which you can create for free using my Canva template, is a beautiful way to showcase your child’s strengths, interests, and what helps them feel supported. By starting the meeting with this, you’re shifting the focus from challenges to strengths, and you’re inviting the school team to see your child as the individual they are, not just through the lens of their diagnosis.
Reflection: What positive qualities do I want to highlight about my child? How can I ensure their strengths are seen alongside their challenges? What interests could I share that might help their teacher to connect?
Know Which Accommodations to Request
Advocating for the right accommodations can transform your child’s school experience. I always recommend focusing in on 1-3 big asks at a time instead of overwhelming your child’s team with a lengthy generic list. The goal is to focus on the accommodations that you have seen have the biggest impact to start with.
Reflection: Which accommodations will have the most immediate and lasting impact on my child’s day-to-day experience? How can I explain these requests in a way that ensures the team understands their importance?
A Few of my Favourite Accommodations for ADHD
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- Extended Time and Alternative Environments for Tests: This helps alleviate the pressure of time constraints and reduces the overwhelm and sensory overload that can occur when an ADHD child tries to focus in a distraction filled environment.
- Frequent Breaks: Short, regular breaks can help your child stay focused and avoid overwhelm. These can be planned to allow a quick lap of the hallway, a retreat to a quiet corner of the room, or a leadership errand or job.
- Movement and Sensory Tools: Items like wobble seats or fidget tools can help channel your child’s energy in a way that supports focus and attention.
- Visual Tools to Support Working Memory and Organization: Visuals are magic for ADHD brains. Encouraging teachers to use graphic organizers to support planning and organization and visual schedules to support time management and working memory can be wonderful ADHD supports.
These accommodations are designed to meet your child where they are, acknowledging that success doesn’t come from trying harder, but trying differently.
Document Everything
Throughout the process, keep a thorough record of all communications—emails, meeting notes, and any written documents shared. This documentation is essential for ensuring accountability and tracking progress over time. After the meeting, follow up with a summary of what was discussed and agreed upon. This helps create a shared understanding and ensures that all parties are on the same page.
Reflection: How will I organize my child’s school records to ensure I have easy access to important information? How can I keep the communication ongoing and clear?
Consider Formalizing Support with an IEP or 504 Plan
If your child’s needs go beyond what informal classroom accommodations can provide, it may be time to request a formal evaluation for an IEP or 504 plan. These legal documents offer a structured, legally binding way to ensure your child’s needs are met across the school day. If your child does not yet have a formal plan and you don’t know where to start I cover this process in depth in my $27 video mini-course, Advocating for ADHD Support at School.
Access Additional Resources to Strengthen Your Advocacy
One thing that I have learned in my ADHD support practice is that the more parents know and understand the more confidence they have in an advocacy situations. Information is truly power! One of my favourite suggestions when working on strengthening support and advocacy as an ADHD parent is to learn and to read. There are so many amazing resources that you can access to support you on your journey.
- Enroll in Chaos to Calm, my signature course for parents, which provides in-depth guidance on managing ADHD at home and school HERE. You can also access the hybrid option for Chaos to Calm plus two 1:1 coaching sessions with me for personalized support HERE.
- Check out my free resources in my digital ADHD shop HERE
- Read my favourite introductory book on ADHD: ADHD 2.0 by Edward Hallowell HERE
- Read this funny and informative take on life with ADHD: ADHD is Awesome by Penn and Kim Holderness HERE
- Check out my favourite research based ADHD periodical: ADDitude Magazine HERE
Final Thoughts: The Power of Relationships in Supporting ADHD Students
In my ongoing doctoral research on teacher-student relationships in the ADHD space, I’m consistently finding that positive relationships between students and teachers are one of the most impactful ways to support children with ADHD. Beyond accommodations and strategies, a strong connection can create the kind of empathy and understanding that transforms a child’s school experience.
As you prepare for your IEP or 504 meeting, I encourage you to focus not only on your child’s challenges but also on their strengths, passions, and unique qualities. Share what makes them shine—whether it’s their love of storytelling, their sense of humour, or their creative thinking. Highlighting these aspects helps build a personal connection with the teacher, fostering a supportive and nurturing classroom environment.
When teachers see our children as more than their diagnosis, they are more likely to recognize their potential and go the extra mile to support their growth—both academically and emotionally.
Are You Looking for More Support?
Chaos to Calm is designed to help you confidently support your child with evidence-based strategies that have already helped hundreds of families. This course is perfect for parents seeking more peace and understanding in their parenting journey. With 29 video modules and countless handouts and resources this course is crafted to help you build ADHD understanding and learn how to confidently support your ADHD child.
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