3 ways to gently shift back into rhythm — before the chaos hits
I don’t know about you, but even though school isn’t here yet, I can feel it coming.
The shift. The pressure. The “we should probably start going to bed earlier” thoughts creeping in.
And I know our kids feel it too — even if they’re not saying it out loud.
Especially for ADHD kids, transitions don’t just start on day one. Their nervous systems anticipate them — sometimes weeks before their backpack ever gets packed.
You might notice more restlessness. More resistance. More emotional intensity over things that didn’t seem like a big deal last week. That’s not bad behaviour. That’s a brain trying to prepare for something it doesn’t yet understand.
But here’s the thing: you don’t need a complete routine overhaul to start feeling more grounded.
And your child doesn’t need another chart or checklist to get “ready.”
What they need — what we all need — is something simpler:
A soft re-entry.
A gentler rhythm.
A reset that feels doable for a dysregulated brain.
Here are 3 practices I use with my own kids (and with the ADHD families I coach) to ease into structure without the stress spiral or nervous system shutdown.
1. Start the Morning With Safety, Not Speed
If mornings have ever felt like an emotional ambush in your house, you’re not alone.
ADHD brains often wake up with cortisol already high — which means they’re entering the day in fight-or-flight before their feet even hit the floor.
Instead of jumping into “go mode,” try creating a few predictable cues that signal safety first.
This might look like:
- Snuggling under a blanket for five minutes before getting out of bed
- Playing a calming playlist while you brush teeth side-by-side
- Drawing a silly doodle on the foggy mirror together
These aren’t just sweet rituals — they’re regulation strategies. They help bring the nervous system out of “threat mode” and into connection. When your child’s body feels safe, executive functioning kicks back online. Transitions go smoother. Every time.
2. Build a “Check-In Cue”
Transitions — even tiny ones like going from PJs to clothes — are hotspots for dysregulation in ADHD brains.
This is partly because of task initiation challenges, and partly because shifting between roles or environments (bedroom to school mode, home to out-the-door) takes mental gear switching that doesn’t happen automatically for neurodivergent kids.
A simple check-in question can help bridge that gap:
- “What’s something that would feel good to start with today?”
- “Do you want to move, snuggle, or play first?”
You’re not just offering choice. You’re offering agency — and for ADHD kids, even a small moment of autonomy can dramatically reduce overwhelm.
This is called collaborative regulation — and it’s often what makes the difference between power struggles and peaceful transitions.
3. Preview Through Play
If your child is feeling anxious about school, play is their language of processing.
ADHD brains don’t always respond well to verbal instruction or verbal reassurance alone. Instead, they benefit from felt experiences — especially when preparing for something new.
Try:
- Acting out a pretend first day of school with LEGO figures or dolls
- Creating a “school supply scavenger hunt” together around the house
- Drawing a morning routine map with sidewalk chalk outside and walking through it
You’re not trying to “trick” them into compliance.
You’re giving their brain a sense of familiarity before they’re in the real thing. That’s what reduces nervous system load.
Let Me Tell You About a Family I Worked With
I was working with a family last August — let’s call them the Martins. Two neurodivergent kiddos, one entering Grade 2 and the other starting middle school. The parents were doing all the things — adjusting bedtime, printing routines, buying the colour-coded folders. But underneath it all, there was this hum of pressure.
They kept saying things like,
“We should be going to bed earlier by now.”
“She should be practising her morning routine.”
“We should have fewer meltdowns this week.”
But the more they pushed to “get ready,” the more dysregulated everyone became. Their daughter started clinging at bedtime. Their son kept saying his stomach hurt. Even the dog was pacing more.
So we paused.
We stepped away from all the “shoulds” and started with one simple shift: connection.
Mornings became less about task completion and more about starting with snuggles and music. The routine didn’t disappear — it just came after the nervous system reset. They built a silly morning playlist to listen to while getting dressed. They did sidewalk chalk maps of their routines. They ended the night with “rose, bud, thorn” instead of another reminder.
And guess what? Everything started to change.
Transitions got smoother.
Meltdowns lessened.
The energy in the house softened.
When we let go of the pressure to be “ready” and instead focused on helping their bodies and brains feel safe, the readiness came on its own.
💫 Inside Chaos to Calm, we walk families through this exact transition — not by adding more rules, but by supporting the nervous system, executive functioning, and emotional connection. From visual schedules to co-regulation tools that actually work in real time, you don’t have to figure this out alone.
Recent Comments