If you’ve heard “I’m bored!” more times than you can count this summer… you’re not alone.

But here’s the truth most people miss:
For many ADHD kids, boredom isn’t laziness. It’s a nervous system signal.

Often, “I’m bored” is code for something deeper:
👉 “I’m overwhelmed.”
👉 “I don’t know what to do next.”
👉 “Nothing feels good right now.”

And when we misunderstand boredom, we often respond with solutions that miss the mark — like adding more structure, offering a screen, or giving a lecture. Instead of helping, those responses can accidentally increase frustration and emotional shutdown.

I’ve seen this up close — in my work and in my life.

I’ve heard my clients describe the agony of waiting in lines, sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, or standing by the front door while a parent tries to gather bags, snacks, and keys. It’s not just a moment of restlessness — it’s deeply uncomfortable.

And I get it. As an ADHDer myself, I recently found myself shuffling across a grocery store awkwardly on crutches with a broken tibia — because I couldn’t stand waiting in the aisle for one more minute while my husband grabbed something from the next row. That stillness was physically and mentally unbearable.

That’s what boredom can feel like for an ADHD brain: not “blah,” but distress.

Boredom Isn’t a Behaviour Problem — It’s a Dopamine Problem

ADHD brains crave novelty, movement, and engagement to stay regulated. Without that stimulation, boredom can feel like sensory deprivation.

Research shows that ADHD-related boredom stems from how the brain regulates dopamine — the chemical responsible for motivation, reward, and attention. When the environment doesn’t offer enough stimulation (think: repetitive tasks, waiting, or navigating unscheduled downtime), the brain can feel like it’s starving for input (Source)

This doesn’t just create restlessness. It can trigger emotional dysregulation, avoidant behaviours, or spirals of negative self-talk — especially when kids are told they’re being “difficult” or “ungrateful.”

“Tasks like folding laundry or doing worksheets don’t just feel boring — they feel painful.”
— Ugochukwu Uche, Psychology Today (Source)

 

So What Can We Do Instead?

Let’s shift from trying to fix boredom to understanding it. Here are five neurodiversity-affirming ways to respond when your ADHD child says they’re bored:

1. Ask Targeted Questions

Boredom is often a catch-all phrase. Help your child decode what’s underneath by offering more specific language.

Try asking:

• Are you feeling bored, tired, or not sure what to do next?
• Do you want alone time or something to do together?

These questions help your child name their internal state and give you better data to work with.

2. Offer Micro-Choices

Open-ended questions like “What do you want to do?” can feel overwhelming to an ADHD brain. Too many options increase cognitive load.

Instead, offer a limited set of meaningful choices:

• Would you rather colour or jump on the trampoline?
• Want to bake something or build with LEGO?
  

Reducing the number of decisions actually increases a child’s sense of control.

3. Create a Dopamine Menu

A dopamine menu is a tool I use with clients to help identify and list small activities that stimulate engagement and bring the brain back online. It might include sensory play, physical movement, art, or tactile comfort items.

Make it visual. Keep it accessible. And use it preventatively — not just reactively.

This kind of menu respects the ADHD nervous system and its need for regular, varied stimulation. Research into interest-based attention highlights how autonomy and curiosity are strong motivators for ADHD individuals (Source)

4. Use Visual Anchors

Boredom often shows up in unstructured time or during transitions. Many ADHD kids lose track of time or feel disoriented without something external to help them orient themselves.

Try a rhythm chart or simple visual schedule. Include a mix of predictability and flexibility — snack time, quiet time, outside play, screen time, reading. This helps reduce anxiety, increase self-direction, and make boredom less likely to spiral.

5. Know When to Pause

Sometimes “I’m bored” is a roundabout way of saying “I’m tired,” “I’m dysregulated,” or “I don’t know how to rest.”

Our culture often views rest as something that must be earned. But for ADHD kids, giving permission to do nothing — without guilt — can be powerfully regulating.

This might look like curling up under a blanket with an audiobook, snuggling together on the couch, or simply staring out the window without a task. Rest is productive too.

“People with ADHD often feel both underwhelmed and overstimulated at the same time.”
— Ugochukwu Uche, Psychology Today (Source)

Want More Tools Like These?

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