If you’ve ever found yourself holding back tears at an IEP table — or worse, crying on the way home — you’re not alone.
Spring IEP season has a way of pressing on every tender part of you. Not because you aren’t strong, but because you care.
You care about getting your child what they need. You care about being heard by a system that often misses the nuance. You care about not burning out while holding everything together.
And it’s a lot.
I used to think IEP meetings were only about getting the right accommodations. And yes — that’s part of it. But over time, I realized the real challenge wasn’t the paperwork. It was the pressure.
The emotional labour of preparing, defending, explaining, advocating — while managing my own nervous system and my child’s.
No one talks about that part.
The adrenaline. The insomnia. The freeze response when the conversation starts to go sideways.
So if you’re there right now — if your body is in a near-constant hum of what if I don’t get it right? — I want you to know:
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Why Support Meetings Happen in the Spring
Spring is when schools typically schedule support meetings like IEP (Individualized Education Program) reviews, 504 Plan check-ins, and other informal support planning meetings. Whether your child has an IEP, a 504 Plan (in the USA), or a Student Support Plan, Learning Plan, or Behavior Plan (in Canada), spring is a powerful time to reset and re-evaluate support before the next school year.
- Evaluate annual goals
- Plan for summer services (if applicable)
- Prepare placement decisions for the fall
- Meet local requirements to review IEPs at least once or twice annually (this varies by country and region)
But here’s what most parents aren’t told: Even if your child doesn’t have a formal IEP, you can still request an informal support planning meeting. This can be as simple as a sit-down conversation to discuss progress, challenges, and needed adjustments moving forward.
Spring is also when your entire family is running on fumes.
- Kids are dysregulated. Parents are exhausted.
- Executive function is low. Emotional energy is frayed.
And holding these high-stakes conversations requires capacity, not just information.
What Parents Aren’t Always Told (But Deserve to Know)
You are allowed to:
- Pause the meeting and request to reconvene
- Bring notes, data, or a parent input statement — and ask that it’s attached to the IEP
- Bring an advocate or support person (I attend these meetings as an ADHD coach ALL the time)
- Ask for clarification or plain-language explanations
- Disagree with the team — and request mediation or an independent evaluation
You are not required to:
- Say yes to everything in the moment
- Prove your child’s needs through emotional storytelling
- Stay silent when confused or dismissed
- “Hold it together” to be taken seriously
What’s Happening in Your Nervous System
IEP meetings often trigger:
Fight-or-flight (especially if past meetings were invalidating)
Fawning (“I don’t want to seem difficult”)
Freeze (“I couldn’t get my words out”)
This is not a mindset problem. This is survival.
If you’ve ever walked away from a school meeting feeling foggy, angry, or defeated — it wasn’t your fault. It was a capacity issue, not a competence issue.
A Simple Pre-IEP Checklist
Use this as a starting point — not a script:
- Review the current IEP and highlight what’s working (and what’s not)
- Write down 3 key priorities you want addressed
- Prepare a short “wins and needs” snapshot
- Rehearse saying: “I’d like to pause and think about that.”
- Sleep, hydrate, and ground yourself before the meeting
This isn’t fluff. It’s how we regulate before we advocate.
Join Me in Chaos to Calm
If you’re looking for even more support as you prepare for Spring IEP Season, I’m currently supporting parents inside my Chaos to Calm community. Whether it’s building confidence for your next meeting, understanding accommodations, or just not feeling alone in the process—I’m here to guide you every step of the way.
You can join with a 7-day free trial here.
✨ Upcoming Event: Support Planning Circle ✨
Join me on May 21 at 12 PM PST for a live Support Planning Circle, where we’ll be writing out our 3 priorities and preparing our “wins and needs” snapshots together. This is your chance to get real-time support, ask questions, and walk away with clarity and confidence. Don’t miss it!
Final Thoughts
IEPs are a tool. But you are the constant.
Your child needs a plan — but you also need capacity.
Protect your energy. Protect your clarity.
And walk in remembering:
You are the expert in your child’s lived experience.
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